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Post by BrandMann on Dec 24, 2006 0:31:46 GMT -5
cant believe it today i got my viagra pills and my sleeping tablets mixed up , just been to bed for 40 wa*ks (had to edit for young peeps on site lol) BWAAAAHAAAA ;D
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Post by supernoob64 on Dec 29, 2006 19:05:47 GMT -5
hahahah omfg that was hilarious
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Post by gunny on Jan 12, 2007 16:53:50 GMT -5
;D
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Post by DevilMayCare on Feb 5, 2007 8:54:22 GMT -5
how do you get a fat lass (sorry woman) into bed
piece of cake
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Post by madmouse67 on Feb 6, 2007 9:03:26 GMT -5
What does a birdcage and a prostitute have in common?
They have both had a cockatoo!
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Post by DevilMayCare on Feb 10, 2007 5:52:45 GMT -5
i dwarf with a spring on each arm and leg takes a 6ft blonde to bed and gives her the sex of her life,laying back afterwards the blonde says wow that was amazing the little guy replys ah yes thats the 4sprung dwarf techniqe ;D
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Post by macpotty on Feb 11, 2007 0:02:15 GMT -5
Sherlock Holmes and Watsin are out camping one night. They both climb into their sleeping bags and look up at the stars.
Sherlock: "look at that watsin, what do you see?" Watsin: "i bellieve that would be a shooting star" Sherlock: "no Watsin someone has stolen our F'ing tent!"
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Post by -=]RegulaR[=- on Jun 29, 2007 21:43:28 GMT -5
If you see a hot girl in a hotel and your about to leave the hotel what do you say? Please check me out
What kind of parents do mummies have? They have mummies and deadies
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Post by DevilMayCare on Aug 10, 2007 12:52:31 GMT -5
man goes to doctors
DMC- dr dr i feel like a cowboy
DRRyan - how long you been feeling like this
DMC- about a yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaarrr
;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by test on Aug 10, 2007 13:11:18 GMT -5
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
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Post by SBG|evilgert on Aug 11, 2007 2:50:19 GMT -5
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?" L O L ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by {NB}crAzyAce! on Aug 11, 2007 6:36:15 GMT -5
This is about a weight loss program.
A guy read the news paper one morning and came across an ad that read, "Lose 10 pounds for 10$!" Well, he had tried every diet he could think of in the past, so he decided to go down to the place and check it out. The next morning he went there to find out the details. He walked up and asked the lady behind the counter about their program and she replied, "We have three different programs. The first, of course, is the 10$ program and there are also the 20$ and 30$ programs." Well, the guy was skeptical about it because all of the other programs he tried had failed. So he decided to do the 10$ plan. He payed the lady and she gave him a gold key and directed him down the hall. He got to the door and there was a sign that read, "Come inside and sit on the couch, the lights will go off momentarily while things are prepared for the program to begin." He went in and sat down, the lights went off and came back on. He saw a beautiful blond haired girl standing in front of him with a sign around her neck that read, "If you catch me, you can have your way with me!". Then, later that afternoon he got home, exhausted from taking the program. He got on the scale and, sure enough, he had lost 10 pounds! When he got up the next morning he went to try the 20$ program. He payed the lady and she gave him a light brown key....... The light came on and there were two brunettes standing there with the same signs around their necks that read "If you catch us, you can have your way with us!". Again, that afternoon he got on the scale and, sure enough, he had lost 20 pounds! The next day he got up bright and early and went there again. He walked up to the counter and said "I want the 30$ program!" The lady behind the counter said "Are you sure?" and he said "yes!" anxiously. Then he payed the lady and she gave him a black key and before she could say another word he took off and ran down the hallway. Well you know the rest....... When the light came on he saw an 800 pound gorilla standing there with a sign around his neck that read "IF I CATCH YOU I'M GONNA HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU!!!"
;D ;D ;D Ace
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Post by airhead' on Aug 11, 2007 12:19:38 GMT -5
Two Drunk guys walk into a bar...you'd think they'd see it coming.
Airmann ;D
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Post by test on Aug 11, 2007 15:01:54 GMT -5
This guy makes me laugh
Tommy Cooper Jokes - One liners (Cooperisms)
Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine. 'So that was nice.'
Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
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Post by kai on Aug 11, 2007 20:53:23 GMT -5
There were these twins, Jim and John. Jim was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same day Jim's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Jim and mistaking him for John said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."
Jim, thinking she was talking about his boat said "Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottoms was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.
I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle"
The old woman fainted.
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